Blue Monday
It's near 9pm. Today is blue. But it's not because it was a beautiful. Far from it.
I woke up at 5am. I am now level 2 on Wanikani, how about that? I was tired, but exhilarated. I used to question myself how can I make the time to do this. Well, the usual story is I wake up one day and feel so fed up with my current life that I "just do it". Sadly, that's not how it went. My story was boring and Zeitgeist at the same time. Claude helped me. I can hear your booing. But yes, I have been fed up with my life for years, but done nothing, until one day, after weeks of journaling and having Claude regurgitating what I just told it but more fluently to my face, I had to accept that something had to be changed. So I went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 5am. Waking up with an alarm is one of the most horrible feelings in the world. But the joy of learning Japanese, of being able to read random words on fan-translated scanlations and Japanese book, hell, it's great.
"一人" or "ひとり" (hitori) means "alone" in Japanese. It's a Level 1 vocab on WaniKani. I don't really know why the hiragana is used instead of the kanji. BUT I recognize it.
Now, it's a Monday. Monday means work. And work does not feel great when you left work on Friday with unresolved problem during meeting. It was much worse when you are sleep-deprived (I did not went to bed at 10pm last Sunday). I got through the morning feeling like a tiger inside a cage. I was ready, really, I was ready, to be fired from workplace violence. Fortunately, I just glared at Claude Code's response all morning.
I talk about AI so much since my comeback (yesterday). Hah, but I want to talk about it some more. More like patterns surfacing. That I am at my best when I have an audience waiting for the result. "Audience" loosely, since it can be my supervisor, my dearest friend, myself, my (non-existent) lover, or just you, my (totally imaginary) reader. Someone, anyone, is enough. What was not resolved last Friday was resolved in the meeting this afternoon. Recently, the supervisor of my supervisor, colloquially called "PI" joined. Let's say he was direct and frank. After being grilled altogether, it was clear that I was not the only person leaving work feeling like shit about the project last week. In the end, we finally could admit that what we did so far "make little sense" and tried some another way instead, one that I (Claude) was able to find in the morning.
Just like that, my mood was great the whole afternoon.
There is the evening, but I am tired now. Maybe some other time I will talk about what I do, beside writing this.