Frog
These days the fable of the frog in the well is constantly in my mind.
"In a certain well, there lived a frog that had dwelt at the bottom for many years. Around it were only tiny creatures — small frogs, snails, and crabs. Looking up from the bottom of the well, the frog could only see a small patch of sky, no bigger than a pot lid.
Every time the frog let out a loud croak, it frightened all the other creatures in the well, so the frog boastfully considered itself a mighty ruler. It thought to itself: "The entire universe is just this much. The sky is only as big as a pot lid."
With that belief, it kept gazing up at that tiny sky and imagined itself as grand as a sovereign lord. Day after day, seeing the same thing, it became convinced that the sky was truly no larger than a pot lid.
Then one year, a tremendous rainstorm caused the water in the well to rise and overflow, carrying the frog up to the rim. Still clinging to its old habits, the frog arrogantly looked up at the sky. What struck its eyes was a vast sky, many times larger than the lid-sized sky it had always seen from the bottom of the well.
The frog could not believe its own eyes and felt deeply irritated. It let out loud croaks to assert its authority, hoping that after its calls, everything would return to the way it had been.
But of course, after the frog's croaking, nothing changed — the enormous sky remained enormous. The frog grew even more bewildered and annoyed, and because it kept staring up at the sky without paying any attention to its surroundings, it was trampled to death by a water buffalo passing by."
This story was in the textbook for 6th graders in Vietnam. Chinese readers may recognize the idea is similar to the fable Jing Di Zhi Wa in Zhuang Zi. However, this version has a bad ending: the frog was killed because of its arrogance, instead of realizing the vastness of the world and left the well. Of course, the core advice remains the same.
I have come to believe that we are much like the fabled frog. We have deep-seated, unconscious beliefs that dictate how we perceive reality. Worse, since we believe unconsciously, we don't even know that there is wall surrounding us. A lifetime can be spent going around in circle without realizing our path is being dictated by the wall at all.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung
The first step for any form of practice then is an exercise in realizing the "wall", or, all beliefs you hold about yourself and the world. Like, "I will never be able to [insert some action perceived as cool]" or "I am just a [some unpleasant trait]". If you succeed, you will be able to see all the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself, with the option to take the next step: rewriting them.
Of course, it's not that easy (as "I now know kung fu" in The Matrix) or straightforward. It will be frustrating as hell (literally). And in the midst of frustration, you may take it out to other people. And you have every reason. I mean, come on, these people, these people, they don't even consider that there is a deeper reason why they keep repeating the same problem over and over and over again. They just bang their head again the wall like a bull, then lie down lazily like a pig, and dare to complain, oh gosh, complain about how bad their life is, how things never seem to change (of course it's not gonna change!), how freaking fate (there's no such thing!) dealt them this hand. You may grow bitter at the world, and convince that it's up to you to "fix" this world.
That's not useful, though. It's like if the Buddha gets angry at people for not getting his teaching. That's totally not useful. The idea, right there, is another wall you got yourself into. A distraction, criticizing all the wrongdoings in this world, from the frustration you are feeling. You want to criticize yourself so much, but it's hurt, and it's supposedly "wrong" according to the teaching, so you turn to the world itself. But again, it's not useful. Take your frustration elsewhere. Your journal, your friend (with a friendly at the start). Just don't let the bitter thought get the better of you, and making you hate this world and the people in it.
Having an imagination is a good thing. But it's funny how you always seem to be in some fantasy inside your head. And the inevitable disappointment it does not survive contact with reality. A bit of daydreaming is necessary, but the risk of veering off into "wisha", "shoulda", "coulda" and running off from reality is right there. But that's the story for another week.